Say Yes When It’s Easier to Say No
A personal anecdote about taking on opportunities when it's easier to give up
Introduction & Recap
I am back from a much-needed break from writing consistent blog posts. Sorry it’s been awhile – a whole lot of changes and difficult challenges have been going on in my life. Six months ago on the week of my birthday, I discovered that a loved one had been diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung cancer. Even though I continued to prevail and smile through each day, I was completely distraught inside and was in a severe depression for a couple of months.
Days and nights were spent in the hospital by her side wondering how and if her conditions could somehow vanish and if this was all a cruel joke. Unfortunately, the truth was staring at me right in my face, and whether I liked it or not, I had to accept the reality…my reality. My time with her was now more limited and I had to make the most of the life we had together. Knowing that her life was now shorter than anticipated, it forced me to put my life into perspective. I had to stop letting my fears control the limits of my future and dreams. The fear of her death was one of the hardest instances I ever had to accept in my life.
However, I learned that if I kept harping on the negativity, I would only be more set back and never move forward. There would be this never-ending downwards spiral that kept sucking me in. And the more I spiraled down, the harder it would be to resurface.
Picking Myself Back Up
So then came to this realization: most of the time, it is easier to say “no” than “yes” because “no” means that you are afraid of something.
My “no” was that I rejected the idea that she was sick because I was afraid to accept the truth. If I had accepted her situation earlier, I would have been able to cope better, do lots of research about the cancer, and be a strong crutch and support for her. My unacceptance became the wall that blocked me from moving forward with my life. For six months, I stopped writing on my blog because she became the first and foremost important thing in my life. Suddenly, nothing else mattered. I even had thoughts of leaving my full-time job because I thought I could be repurposing my time with her instead. Every day, my bed became this fearless enemy – at night, I couldn’t sleep and each morning, I couldn’t wake up. I was in this vicious cycle of rejection and fear.
Saying Yes to Opportunites
After three long and hard months, I knew that it was time to change my perspective. I could not keep living my life like this. Carrying on each and every day filled with worry would continue to tear me down and eventually, I wouldn’t be able to be there for her. It was then that I learned how to finally say “yes” even though my soul was screaming “no” to everything. I had to prevail through this inopportune time and stop hiding under this dark and heavy rock. By accepting that she was sick and shifting my perspective into a more appreciative and positive one, my life started to slowly turn around.
Fast forward to today, I could say with confidence that I have come a long way since December. Things began to move forward with the time I had with her, my career, and my blog. I accepted the notion of her cancer and began spending more time with her, I started a new job in retail/fashion consulting, and I hired an intern and two fabulous team members for The StyleWright. Instead of feeling shattered and empty, my heart began to feel full of love again. Instead of worrying about my career direction, a new and exciting opportunity presented itself. Instead of being neglected and forgotten about, my blog was touching the lives of others who in turn wanted to become a part of my team.
Thinking back, I could have easily said “no” to all these opportunities because that would have been so much easier. But, dammnit…it was about time that the confident, adventurous, and hard-working Kasey Ma came back. In a time of loneliness and hardship, I pursued these opportunities instead of throwing them away. Now, I feel like I can do anything.
My Message to You:
My message to you and my followers is to not forget that there is always a light in every situation, no matter how awful they are. Say less no’s and begin nodding your head to say yes. Accept the truth, recognize you’re not alone, and know that it is up to you to carry on. Life was not meant to be easy, and how you deal with every challenge will further sculpt your strength so you can become a better person.
I hope this anecdote reaches out to all of you in the best way possible.
These photos were made possible with the beautiful clothes at www.tobi.com. To shop my Tobi looks, please click the brand links below. Every new customer gets 50% off! P.S. For more details/photos of these looks, please click “See More Photos” Below!
Tobi Jessica Choker Romper
Brown Suede Heels (shop other styles: 1, 2, 3)
Chloe Drew Bag with Python (shop other styles: 1)
Swarovski Wrap Bracelet (shop other styles: 1, 2)
Silver Cuff (shop others styles: 1, 2, 3, 4)
Tobi Allison Ribbed Shift Dress
Versace Sunglasses (shop other styles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Black Sandal Heels (shop other styles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Silver/Gold Bracelet (shop other styles: 1, 2, 3)
Photographs by: Tabletopography